After a spell of positivity after I began this blog I’ve had a tough month or so. Really tough. The little one has allergies and we don’t know what they are. Rashes and reactions, numerous doctors trips and still none the wiser. Stressful. I want my mum. The older one is testing limits. She’s showing jealousy towards her sister and craving attention. I just want my mum, the one person who loves me unconditionally, to tell me that I’m doing an ok job because I don’t feel like I am. I don’t have many friends that I’m close enough to be totally upfront and honest with, maybe three or four. But still, as amazing as they are, as comforting as they are and as grateful for them that I am, they are not my mum. My husband has no words anymore, he just doesn’t know what to do or say to help me. These emotions make me a not so nice person at times, I know that.
I keep telling myself ‘before she died, she lived’ but today I just feel angry that she died.
Mother without a mother. 